Fearlesslee

Hi friends, hope all is well. Hope you’re happy, healthy, and have had a good meal recently. If you haven’t, treat yourself. . Ok so, lately I’ve been seeing a lot of “Letter to my 18 yr old Self” posts or “Letter to My Teenage Self” posts. They usually involve someone writing letters filled with encouragement and and things they wish they would have known when they were younger. They reflect on all of the hurts, pains, and frustrations of their youth; then write a letter pretty much letting themselves know that it’s going to be okay. Of course your younger self can’t read it, but it can be a little therapeutic. You give yourself a chance to see how much you’ve matured. I wanted to do something similar, but to my current self. Though I’ve grown tremendously since I was 18, I still need that same type of encouragement, motivation and overall self-love that I needed back then. With that being said, here’s my “Letter to My 28 Year Old Self…”

Dear Leesa,

Look at you, girl! A year ago you spent any ounce of free time you had applying for jobs. You never told anyone, but you had a serious problem with rejection. Every rejection email ate you alive. You printed each one out and put them in a folder. You cried about them; you obsessed over them. You hated the feeling of someone not recognizing you as worthy enough to work for them. You were prideful and felt as though you deserved every job you applied for. Lol you were doing too much. But I mean, I understand. You had a goal, and you wouldn’t stop until you reached it. I still have the folder with the 22 rejection letters. It doesn’t give you those same dark feelings anymore. And luckily, you’ve grown to be able to handle rejection a lot better; which is great! You are doing well now. You had a rough first 6 months, but you’re finally getting a grip on everything. Girl, New York is HARD! I don’t know if you realized it when you were having those Alicia Keys “Concrete jungle where dreams are made of” thoughts running through your head, but this place is NOT A GAME!!! EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. EVERYTHING IS DIFFICULT. But you’re making it! Occasionally you feel like you’re not doing enough. You even sometimes feel like a failure (particularly when you reflect on this past semester of grad school. Hashtag ROUGH). But you ARE doing enough. And you’re not a failure. Don’t worry, you’ll get that degree sooner or later. You auditioned for one of the most popular ladies salsa teams in NYC! You didn’t make it, but I mean it took a lot of guts to even get up there! You were terrified, but you didn’t let it stop you. That’s a huge accomplishment. Just to think, back in 2013, you’d drive 20 minutes from your house to attend a salsa class only to sit in your car the whole time because you were too scared to go inside! Talk about GROWTH!

**Also, dating apps seem like a good idea but they most certainly are not. Your eyes roll harder and harder with each swipe. Just go ahead and delete the app(s), despite what that small optimistic voice in the back of your head is telling you.

You give love and you receive love. You care about people, and guess what? They care about you! You’re here, you’re valued, and you’re worthy of all good things. You’ve reached many of your goals, but please don’t stop setting them. This is just the beginning.

The “Vessel”… Still unsure of what exactly it is but it’s pretty cool looking.